The stages of life one goes through after receiving HELB money while on campus

HELB student loan
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Honestly speaking, if the Higher Education Loans Board (HELB) injected money into your account as a university student, your excitement may spell the advent of spiritedness and overspending.

You may even begin to spend the cash on stuff unrelated to studying or paying tuition fees at the university; which is the sole purpose of the loaned money, but who’s to say once you’ve got the money?

Some smart students allocate the money to entrepreneurship ideas, personal projects while many, oftentimes, allocate the bulk to merry-making and ‘enjoying life’

Cheer up, it’s one of the stages of life that one goes through once one received HELB money on campus. However, there are few that religiously channel their money to school arrears. If this is or was you, then great!

But let’s talk about the fun part; how many students use the Sh. 40,000 plus and in a few months’ time, the account is dusted.

These are the 4 stages of ‘misusing’ HELB money on campus:

1. On the first week: comrades eat CHICKEN

At this point, everyone is rich enough to battle The American Sharks for the cover of Forbes Magazine. Bank accounts are swollen with the study loan.

Chicken, pork, nyam-chom and above become the order of the day.

At this point of richness, a comrade can insult you and pay you, beat you and foot your medical bills, break your legs and hire you a flying doctor service. Plus, there’s always this incessant urge to buy an entire supermarket before getting into shopping!

Every weekday becomes a Friday. Anything that is sold is bought at market price with no bargain! Forbes, here we come!

2. On the second week: Comrades eat CHICKEN PRODUCTS

They realize that the previous week did serious damage to their bank account and they need to “go slow”.

At this point they can’t just eat chicken; it will drain them completely, so they opt for chicken products. Eggs and its family become the order of the day. The expenditure is considerably reduced; spending when necessary and justifiable.

Akiendelea vibaya, atakosa kulipa fee!

3. On the 3rd week: comrades eat CHICKEN FEEDS

Chicken is now history. Chicken products too are increasingly becoming expensive; so they resort to chicken feeds.

Grains, corn, fillets, cereals, greens that chickens would happily feed on, become their favorites too. After all ‘balanced diet‘ is a scientific lie.

At this point the expenditure is hugely reduced; scarcely spending unless it is a matter of life and death!

READ: This is why youth should start building a retirement nest egg now

4. On the fourth week: comrades eat LIKE CHICKEN!

At this point, they get beat by life! Let whatever come may! The Sh. 40,000 + that was disbursed in their account a few months ago by the Higher Education Loans Board (HELB) has been depleted.

Now the comrade survives at nature’s mercy. Normally, chickens eat whatever comes their way as long as it is edible, and so do they.

You’ll notice that they are no longer choosy. Anything that can go through the throat is acceptable, as long as it fills the stomach. Luxury is that point when someone tells them ‘it is lunch break, we should go for lunch’.

They’ll only eat when nature allows. They will begin to wonder why people waste money on luxuries such as chewing gum and evening ‘mahindi choma‘.

About the Author
Joshua Kalata

Joshua Kalata

Actuary and Blogger

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