He held on to something when others saw nothing. He took the necessary steps to make sure he and everyone around him were safe, while others did nothing but wait, holding on to false optimism. His journey, riddled with both chaos and order, came to an end at the one place he found his peace.
There was once a boy around 16-17 in age, young at heart, old in mind. He was a lover of all things beautiful, but a beauty that never lasted. He was passionate about all things art and philosophy, all of which would lead him to his peace. He never truly got what love was, but he tried, oh how he tried. His life, to the artists of the world, was one to be desired; to the realists, one of confusion and denial; to those around him, chaotic; to those who never knew him, weird.
As a child, he was so much into the outdoors, the outdoors he first experienced with his dad. Nature was his home, the trees his resting place, the sticks his toys, the ground his canvas. Even up to the end, he never really let it go. Maybe it was his first love, but then what did he really know about love apart from what he was told?
Chaos was part of him. At least, that’s what he was given. He never really settled on anything, but who can expect a child to settle on matters of life and death so early in life? Demands, demands, that’s all he got, at home, at school, with his friends, everywhere apart from where he found his peace.
Though in the chaos he found order, he created order. He never knew how to express himself fully. Yes, there were actions and words, but don’t you think that there are some things we go through that transcend both? He did his best to fulfill the demands, and with the little time he got to himself, he looked for that which never demanded anything from him, something he would willingly do, without rush, or anxiety, or the fear of pain.
One day, when he was at his true home while playing and taking in all the beauty he so adored, he discovered a place. A place where he would find his peace. Oh how majestic it was, all-natural, untouched. Who knew that a stone, a big one at that, would bring one peace? It let him see the beauty that was. It never demanded anything from him. It took him in and never really let him go.
The rock. What a sight it was. When many would find their peace in books or others, he found his in the rock.
We all have a rock, something we think of as strong, stable, reliable, and even trustworthy. It comes in many forms for many people, which is a beautiful thing to me. Though we can’t all understand what other people may deem as a rock or even why. Some are truly strong, others weak. It all depends on what or who you put your faith in.
What he saw, to him, was worth putting all his faith in, and maybe that’s why he never let it go.
The boy on the rock-Part 2
“ Do you ever feel like there’s no hope for people? Do you ever feel like there’s nothing to fight for anymore? Do you ever feel like there’s no point? Sometimes I wonder if the broken people I see every day can be saved or are they too far gone. Am I too far gone? ”
His mind wanders a lot. He asks a lot of questions most of which are difficult to answer. Before he found the rock, he never really had a place to go to where he could let go of what was in his mind. This was his time to say all he wanted, meditate as much as he could, and let his mind truly wander, freeing himself from all the troubles that burdened him.
But will it come at a cost?
“You know I feel like I gave up on myself sometime back. I don’t think I really ever even had hope for myself or for anyone or anything for that matter. I don’t think people would like me as much if I told them all this. ”
Sometimes we question our own efforts, the decisions we’ve made, and what we’ve done. Sometimes when we take a look back at it all, we worry so much eventually giving up on ourselves.
“ I’m guessing it’s easy to give up on ourselves, right? Like we just see what’s ahead and all that’s happened and just crush and look for a comfortable place to suffer in silence. ”
“ I get that it’s not a bad thing to let go or give up on something that wasn’t working but what really drives us to get there? Do we lose hope or faith? Do we not put in enough or put in a lot? Do we not have the support? What could it be? ”
It could be anything, everything, and nothing, the reasons to give up that is. But regardless of whatever it could be, never give up on yourself
You must continue trying, you never know when something you try will succeed. Even when you feel that you have no firm foothold, you must try to get out of the pit of despair. The only way out is to try, even if it takes several efforts and is difficult and sloppy. You won’t advance if you only accept what you perceive to be your fate.
You won’t even try to make a difference if you think you can’t. To avoid saying “I can’t” or “There is nothing I can do,” try thinking instead of these phrases instead: “I can at least try” and “This may not work, but I’ll try it.” That at least gives you the chance to bring about change in whatever you may be doing.
Don’t quit trying to improve something in your life. In the event that the thing you were trying doesn’t work, try something different. If you only give it a single try and it doesn’t work, you might have strengthened your learned helplessness. Persistence may be the key to helping you undo it. So, regardless of how little you think it will help, try everything that comes to mind. It is better than doing nothing.
“ I guess the reason doesn’t really matter. What matters is the effort we put in to never give up. I believe people are strong, I believe I’m strong, but we don’t really see our own strength cause so much from the world covers our eyes. The world does so much to make us see how weak, or incapable we are and so little to show us how strong we may be or how capable we are. Even people can make us feel like we aren’t worth anything. I definitely have some people like that in my life but I guess if I’m to ever see my own strength and use it, I must keep on trying to never give up on myself. ” At the end of the day, it’s my life and they cannot live my experiences.
“ The moment I give up on myself is the moment I lose everything, probably. ”
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